By Maddy Siriouthay, Co-founder
When you work from home, socialize via Zoom and are heating up wayyyyy too many meals-for-one, going a little stir-crazy is understandable. Also, let’s face it: we’re all horny as hell. Social distancing is impeding on our hoe activities — for the better — but it’s only human to crave physical intimacy. We’ve compiled a guide to spice up your sex life (or the lack thereof): for the single or for the couple who may have fallen into a quarantine routine. A quar-routine, if you will.
First thing’s first…
No matter how horny, how lonely, how healthy you think you are, STAY TF INSIDE and touch your damn self instead. If you don’t feel symptoms, you could still be a carrier and put other, more vulnerable people at risk. Imagine if you got someone seriously sick because you were too horny to stay inside — how embarrassing, right? This is the only hard sex-negative stance I will take. Masturbate for public health!
Now that I've slut-shamed some of you into staying home, let's get into ways you can make sex more exciting with yourself or a partner while you're stuck in quarantine.
If you’re alone:
Take this as an opportunity to explore yourself and some curiosities you’ve never ~taken a whack at.~ Even if you’re going at it alone, it can a little bit nervewracking trying something new. Test the waters by watching porn, and if you're still into it, give it a go.
Worst case scenario, you find something you don’t like, which makes the path to finding out what you really really like all the more clear.
If you have a partner:
The important thing here is open, honest and nonjudgmental communication. Sex is already intimate, and disclosing some of our hidden desires can take a relationship into a new level of vulnerability. When communicating your kinks and curiosities (and hearing out your partner's), remember to be honest, be kind and be calm. It’s a conversation, and you don’t have ~dive~ into anything you’re not comfortable with. Let your partner know this, too. Wade in, together.
If you don’t even know how to start this process, we got you. We wrote beginners’ guides to BDSM and anal play, which covers everything from how to communicate effectively with your partner, prep, play and toys.
If you’re alone:
Masturbating is definitely a hands-on task, but it doesn’t have to mean ~hands only.~ If you haven’t bought a toy before, now is the time! If you already have some, let yourself splurge on a new quarantine buddy, and maybe a more experimental pal.
Here are some toy recommendations for solo play that hit the spot 🤪
This vibe takes on a different shape — similar to a dainty little computer mouse, the Pom is designed to be ergonomic to fit comfortably in your palm and your hips, vulva — wherever. As always, this has been tried and true by the Ovee team, and we love it.
The award-winning Ose brings you the best of both worlds: a clitoral and G-spot orgasm. The Ose has a G-spot massager and a clitoral mouth that stimulates lips and a tongue that you can customize controls. Fun fact: I once had a sex dream about this vibrator. It wasn’t like, me with another person, and this vibrator. Just me and the vibrator. As it should be.
I wasn't joking — this vibrator literally haunts my dreams. HAUNTS them.
The Emojibator is one of our favorite vibes for many reasons: it’s cute, it’s portable and it gets the job done. 10 settings will do that to ya 🥵 Pick from an eggplant, chili pepper, banana or pickle.
If you have a partner:
Toys in partner sex should be a thing that happens more often but isn’t. People are weird about it, for a slew of reasons, but I think the main one is that it implies that the other person isn’t “enough” or even “bad” at sex — which is frankly, not true!
Introducing toys into partner sex can make some people insecure about their abilities, which is why it’s important to have an honest conversation about how you feel about it beforehand. Think about sex like a boat and toys as a motor — you can definitely do without, but having one helps you get there muuuch faster. You want to have the best sex possible. What if using a toy takes you to the next level?
Here’s some potential ~third partners~ you could introduce:
The Martin is a cock ring worn around the penis that not only vibrates but also has two flexible arms on the end that can be used to stimulate the clit. This feature makes it ideal for P-in-V sex, but also is great for solo play.
Like the Martin, the Eva II is meant to be worn during penetrative sex (but is again, also good for solo pleasure), but fits snug underneath the labia lips. This vibe stimulates the clit and also provides ~good vibes~ to your partner as well.
We’re taking you to a ~hole new world~ with this toy — use the Romp buttplug by Unbound to stimulate your partner’s prostate during sex. This can also be used in people with vaginas, as a butt plug makes the vaginal canal tighter which can make penetrative sex much more intense. Did you also know people without prostates can orgasm from butt play? The Romp builds to a 1.3-inch diameter at it’s widest and has 4.25 inches of insertable length, making it suitable for beginners and casual foreplay.
It seems like everyone is taking the involuntary downtime during quarantine to enrich themselves by learning new skills, like cooking, a new language, sewing, etc. What about learning some new skills in the bedroom? There are several online classes that explore the science of pleasure and relationships, and gaining a more intimate understanding of those things can make you a lot better in practicing it.
OMGYes has a package of dozens of video tutorials, touch stimulations and infographics to help you explore yourself or your partner with a more informed touch. They offer packages that educate you on clitoral stimulation, penetration and partner sex. Each video is only four minutes, so you can get stay (mentally) stimulated and get to business right away.
O.School is a free live streaming platform where you can watch sex educators, doctors, coaches and other experts talk shop — aka sex — and they’re all saved on the website if you couldn’t make it live. O.School covers everything related to sex, and some topics include: “10 tips for hotter handjobs,” “How to put on a masturbation show,” “How to NOT eat pussy” and many, many more. In addition to sex, O.School has classes on health, consent and more.